So for some crazy reason we had Dr. Phil on in this house yesterday. This is not the norm for me but especially not Jay. I was in bedroom nursing and Jay was in the kitchen fixing something for Kai. I guess he turned on the TV in there and we both caught a snippet of the show.
Dr Phil was encouraging a couple to have a four minute rule in their house when they walk in the door. The rule is you keep the first four minute positive no matter what is eating at you. You say things like " hey good to see you, it's nice to be in the same room as you, You look great" etc. Then ask about their day and if their is something you need to discuss you can work on it together from a place of calmness and positivity.
So I thought to myself I am going to start doing that and see what happens. When Jay worked days I used to greet him with a drink and an embrace at the door ( pre-kids) but since he works nights he comes home at some point in the am between 9- noon. Pretty sad to say that sometimes I am so busy with the structure ( or lack of) of my day that I usually just call out to him a quick " Hey!" then get back to the laundry, the dirty diaper, the time out. And I am so guilty of dumping on him the minute he walks through the door. Funny those are the days I will greet him at the door to tell him his son wet the bed, his daughter was up all night with diarrhea, bills have come in, people have called, something needs fixed, and I have a million ideas I need to bounce off of him.
So Jay caught the same part of the show and came down the hall to tell me he would love that. That sometimes he is excited to come home and as soon as he walks through the door I am telling him how hectic the day is or I need to pick his brain. It can even be that I want to share some great news or relay an encouraging conversation. But regardless, he would love 4 minutes.
Seems reasonable.
Doable?
We'll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment