I have been dreaming a lot lately about what I want to do or should I say, what I am suppose to do with my life. This comes on the tail of fulfilling my dream of becoming a parent to two wonderful children. It is funny when you have achieved a goal you have been working/obsessing about for years and then have to ask yourself " So what next?" I had tunnel vision when trying to get pregnant ( a long story) so it is strange to now be on the other side.
I am very content with motherhood but I am a planner so I can't help but look ahead and wonder what will be...And what should I be doing now to make later happen.
I believe it is healthy to dream and ask yourself what is it that you love to do.
So I have been asking
What would make me bound of of bed to tackle?
What would I love to wake up and take another stab at the next day?
What would make me feel like I'm operating in my life purpose?
What are my gifts?
What are my pure motives for fulfilling my ministry?
And my selfish ones?
And what now??
I thank God He can use me with selfish motives aren't you? He can use us on either side of a lesson or even somewhere in the middle. My selfish motives don't override my pure ones, but if I'm honest with myself, I have to admit they are there. And being aware of them keeps them in check.
It is a very powerful question to ask yourself-go ahead try it!
It doesn't mean that that you won't ever start that business, go back to school, take that trip, gut a century home, be on stage, find love, have children, go on that mission- there is a time for those things and that time quite simply is not right now. We can't do it all without shortchanging something, or someone. I definitely don't want my family to feel like they have received my leftovers at the end of the day. Nor do I want to half ass something else I am passionate about.
I am not okay with doing everything but operating at 60%. I don't think God wants us to showcase the gifts He has blessed us with in that way.
SO I will dream.
I will open myself up to opportunities for growth.
I will pray for wisdom.
I will flirt with my passions.
I will continue to ask the tough questions.
And when my time comes , I will be ready.
What season are you in?? Are you embracing it?
" You probably can have it all, just not at the same time. And.. You might have to make certain compromises when your children are small. But your children are going to be small for a very short period of time" Anna Quindlen
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